Jessica loved her job at a community bank. She was thriving in her role and enjoyed the strong team environment. But it all came crashing down on her when the bank was acquired. Everything shifted in a blink of an eye—the person to whom she reported, the culture, the job expectations—and Jessica’s emotions at the office became a detriment to her continued success.
“It was a stressful time for me,” says Jessica. “Many of my close peers left the company, and my boss, who was a formidable mentor, left as well. I was no longer in charge of making decisions or viewed as a thought leader. During meetings, I got upset trying to maintain the integrity of the old way of doing things. I dreaded going to work and went home most days in tears. I did it all wrong, and my missteps ultimately cost me my job.”
While Jessica’s situation represents an extreme workplace situation, everyday interactions can result in similar emotional stress. For example, during a meeting, you share an idea that doesn’t get heard, and then someone suggests a similar thought. The group acts on it, and that colleague walks away the hero, while you walk away angry and irritated. Or perhaps you’ve spent weeks on a project that you’re proud of—but your boss barely acknowledges your contribution.
You can’t control everything on the job, yet you can control how you respond when a difficult situation arises. People with strong emotional intelligence (EQ) are the best equipped to navigate challenging situations. They can easily identify their feelings and then use that information to guide their thoughts and behaviors.
Exercising EQ in the workplace can improve not only your relationships but your mental and physical health as well. So what does heightened EQ at work look like? And how can you handle challenging workplace situations? These eight tips will help you manage on-the-job emotions and have improved interactions with colleagues:
1. Practice impulse control.
When something triggers stress or anger, don’t respond immediately. Give yourself time to process the situation and think through an appropriate response before you e-mail, call, or talk to your colleagues.
2. Buddy up.
Find a colleague in which to confide. Remember, no gossiping or triangulating. Instead, discuss ideas or get honest feedback.
3. Step away.
When frustration hits, take a break. Stretch your legs, visit a friendly face, or head outside for some fresh air.
4. Create talking points.
Before you confront a colleague about a charged situation, prepare focused talking points to help you stay on track and prevent you from saying something you might regret.
5. Write it down.
Keep a personal journal of your experiences and emotions. Through the act of writing, you may find solutions and gain perspective. If you prefer to use an electronic journal, be sure to use your personal computer or device instead of the company computer.
6. Take a mental escape.
De-stress for a few minutes by closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths. This can be done sitting at your computer, in a conference room, or even in a restroom stall if you’re in a pinch.
7. Leverage company resources.
Many companies offer free (and anonymous) employee assistance programs (EAPs) for counseling or pastoral guidance. Ask your human resources department what is available, and make use of the resources.
8. Move your body.
Exercise results in an endorphin boost and is an excellent way to relieve on-the-job stress. Many companies offer in-house classes and/or gym discounts.
While there’s not one simple solution when navigating your professional relationships or office dynamics, using a combination of methods can protect you from emotional stress and result in increased job satisfaction and overall well-being inside and outside of the office.
Erin Fitzgerald is a freelance writer specializing in internal communications. Based in Portland, Oregon, she relieves stress by running nature trails. Mary Cogan coaches corporate leaders and teams in the Washington, D.C., area. She loves hitting bike trails, searching out wildlife on her routes.
